For the Curious, I am moving my blog to tumblr, and this one will be taken offline soon. Don’t worry, I moved all the old blogs to my new tumblr (and created a lot of twitter havoc in the process). Hope to see you over there.
For the extra Curious, here is the link to my new blog. Bookmark it or follow it or something. http://musingsfromthetent.tumblr.com/
As my friend plays the harp, she wanders around a hauntingly beautiful melody and my mind strays again to the thought of death. My life has not been replete of death like many have. I have never experienced death close to me and sense it creeping at my door the older I get. Family members have not died, and my friends were all fine. But death comes closer.
My friend died last week. I had not seen him for a couple years, but we shared good experiences, music and a road trip. We shared some life together and now he is no longer in life. I wrestle with the idea, not sure how to think of the fact that I remain on this broken earth and he is no longer here.
His parents and grandparents outlived him. This should not be. Where is he? He is in a place that is good. He is with God, present with Christ. He has no need to crave my status of living, for he is closer to it than I am. But as I stand where I do, I think that he can no longer stand here. When people refer to him it will not be in the category of life, but of death.
This is a crude dichotomy, but one which we are so familiar with this side of the great sea. Our minds press into these two categories, thinking mainly of ourselves in the living and looking at those who have died as in the dead. This is not an accurate dichotomy and only makes sense in a world of the fallen and broken.
The categories should be life and only life. But we broke it apart and created another place, bringing death to ourselves. Now we must think about friends who have died and wonder how I should feel that I will not see him for 60 years or more. It is as though a friend from long ago went to a far off country and I will not be able to see his face until I go to that country. He will not visit me and I cannot share coffee or engage in conversation with him, until I touch down on the shores of the land he dwells in.
It is strange. He is gone and I am here. Connection is lost. I cannot call, I cannot write on his Facebook wall and expect a reply. I cannot go to places he used to dwell and feel anything but wonder and longing at him not being where he used to often be.
He was a good friend, though distant and not seen for a long time. The experiences we had will be remembered and remembering them will bring me joy and a small smile. I will remember the times that were good and I will pray for the day when this crude dichotomy of life and death will be shattered as I arrive on the shores of the country far better than my own.
For the curious, harp music filled my ears and silence took from them while writing this.
Here it is peeps. I like the God-Man and he was born during this season so here is what I believe about him.
I believe that the second member of the trinity, The Logos, who is coeternal and consubstantial with God, being involved with creation with the rest of the Trinity (Jn 10:30, Heb 1:2), became the God-Man, Jesus Christ (Jn 1:1-5, 14-18). I believe that Jesus is God, evidenced by him receiving worship (Jn 20:28-29), forgiving sin (Lk 5:20), calling himself God (Jn 8:58), and being called God in scripture (Col 2:9, Rom 9:5). I believe Jesus is Man (1 Tim 2:5), evidenced by his physical limitations (Jn 4:6), human maturation (Lk 2:52), and death (Mk 15:37).
I believe that the Logos became the God-Man by humbling himself in putting aside his glory and divine privileges (Phil 2:5-7), becoming like we are (Phil 2:8), and being empowered by the Holy Spirit (Lk 4:1). He lived as a perfect example of a Spirit-empowered human. I believe that the Logos became God incarnate when he was conceived in the womb of the virgin, Mary (Lk 1:31-34). The Holy Spirit enabled her to have a child without the requirement of sex (Lk 1:35, Matt 1:18).
I believe that Jesus lived a perfect Spirit-filled life. He never sinned, submitting himself to the law, his parents, and the will of the Father (Heb 7:26, 1 Pet 2:22, Gal 4:4, Lk 2:51, Jn 12:49). He did however experience temptation in every way like we do, truly feeling the weight of each temptation, but trusting the Holy Spirit’s power and overcoming them (Matt 4:1-11, Heb 4:15, Heb 2:18).
I believe that Jesus died a brutal death at the hands of the Romans, due to the influence of the Jews, on a cross of wood (Lk 23:20-25, 33). He experienced an excruciating flogging and beating and was confirmed dead by a centurion, and buried in a rich man’s tomb (Matt 27:27-30, Jn 19:1, Jn 19:34, Matt 27:57-61). I believe that Jesus physically and spiritually rose from death after three days in the grave, leaving the tomb empty and the witnesses astounded (Matt 28:6, Matt 20:26-29).
I believe that Jesus, after his resurrection, ascended into heaven (Acts 1:6-11) to sit at the right hand of the Father (Col 3:1) as our mediator (1 Tim 2:5), who was given the name that is above every name (Phil 2:9). I believe and joyfully anticipate the return of the God-Man when he will establish his kingship and every knee will bow and every tongue confess that, “Jesus Christ is Lord” (Acts 1:11, Rev 1:7, Rev 19:11-16, Phil 2:10-11).
For the Curious, I was listening to various awesome renditions of Christmas songs by the likes of Dustin Kensrue, Folk Angel, and Future of Forestry. Good Stuff.
Here is a statement I wrote for class. It is not polished yet, that will take a couple years I am sure, but you two nerds might enjoy reading it. Please avert all disagreements and argument starters to my facebook page.
I believe in a personal, triune God who created, sustains and works in this world by his sovereign choice, for his glory.
Nature of God
I believe that there is one God (Deut 6:4, Is 46:9). I believe God eternally exists as three persons, Father, Son and Holy Ghost (Matt 28:19-20, Eph 4:4-6,) The three share the same essence and attributes of God, but are distinct in relationship to one another (Matt 3:16-17). All three work distinct but complementary roles in regards to the work of God (John 14:16, 1 Pet 1:2). Primarily, the Father is seen as the designer and creator (Eph 1:3-6), the Son is seen as redeemer and mediator (Eph 1, Heb 1:3, Heb 4:15) and the Holy Ghost as the helper and sanctifier (1 Cor. 2:13, 1 Pet 1:2).
I believe God’s attributes are best understood as those of greatness and goodness.
Greatness
I believe God is personal spirit being (Gen 1:26, Jn 4:24) who is self-existent and eternal (Ps 90:1-2, 2 Pet 3:8). He is omnipotent, meaning he possess sufficient power to accomplish all he desires to do (Job 42:2). He is omniscient, meaning he knows everything, from the thoughts of men to future events (Ps 139:1-6, Job 14:5). He is omnipresent, in that he is not bound by space or time and he is present everywhere (Ps 139:7-12). He is unchanging in character and nature (Num 23:19, Ps 110:4, Mal 3:6). God is independent of his creation and separate from it, in that it is not a part of him or he a part of it (Is 40:12-26). He is also immanent, working and involved within his creation, showing his attributes of goodness (Job 34:14-15).
Goodness
I believe God is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, loving, faithful, just, and holy (Ex 34:6-7). God is one who pursues relationships, and chooses to change attitude or response in relationships based on human action (1 Sam 15:11, 1 Jn 2:2).
Work of God
I believe that God is sovereign, meaning that God does what he wills (Ps 115:3). He sovereignly controls all events and decisions (Prov 16:4, Jer 10:12-13, Job 42:2, Isa 46:10). I believe that God has decreed all that happens, controlling all the factors that cause people to choose what they will choose but not being the direct cause of sin, in light of this, humans stand responsible for their deeds (Acts 4:27-28, Eph 1:11, Gal 6:7-8, Ps 33:15). God is the ultimate cause of all causes, but not the sinner of any of the sins of those causes.
I believe that God, knowing all in this world would be doomed to hell by their own choosing, in eternity past chose to save some of the hell bound race, leaving the rest to their chosen path (Eph 1:4-6, Acts 13:48, John 6:44). This choice was based on no decision or merit of any chosen person, but wholly on the gracious choice of God (2 Tim 1:9.
I believe that God created the world by his power and wisdom (Gen 1:1). He created everything, not from any existing material, but by his word created all that he spoke into existence, preparing the world for human habitation in six days (Ps 33:6, Gen 1). I believe that God created, not out of necessity, but as an outpowering of grace and as a way to glorify himself (Psa 19:1, Col 1:16, Heb 2:10). God is distinct from his creation, but creation is fully dependent on God to sustain it (Heb 1:3).
I believe that God continues to lovingly act in creation by his providence, upholding the world (Acts 17:28, Col 1:17), working good even in the evil situations for his elect (Gen 50:20, 2 Cor 5:21), and ultimately glorifying himself with all (Rom 11:36, 1 Cor 8:6).
God be praised.
For the Curious, I listened to copious amounts of Sigur Ros, Jonsi, the happenings of various coffee shops (Albina Press, Starbucks in West Linn), and silence.
The day was coming to an end, but the task at hand seemed to be growing. I stood in the unfinished garage of an in construction house ready to finish up the gas line, put it under pressure and make sure it didn’t leak. I had until 6 o’clock to finish this goal, because in Happy Valley they don’t allow construction work past 6. I guess they are trying to keep the valley happy.
I grab my hammer to start working and as I begin swinging, I feel a prick drive itself into my palm and I throw the hammer down. I look at my palm and see a bee digging into my palm trying viscously to claim the handle of my hammer as it’s territory and not mine. I throw the bee to the ground and stomp it with a vengeance, ticked that now my hand is beginning to throb, knowing this will effect the speed at which I can finish my task and the realizing the clock continues to tick towards 6.
It is 2 oclock when I bust my sawzall out to cut some holes for the gas pipe. I have only 4 hours to do about 6 hours of work and it is only my 3rd week on the job and my first gas line I have done. I begin to cut holes above my head and the wood chips start flying. The barrage of sawdust meets my face and a chunk, or log no one can be sure, lodges itself in my eye. My eyelid clamps down and I spend the next couple minutes trying to get it out, realizing the clock continues to tick despite my lack of forward momentum.
My mindset continues to become more driven and I build on thoughts of, “I just need to man up and get this done,” “I need to work faster, I need to be better.”
I continue to work harder, the sweat begins to pour and my eye worsens because of the various scratches I have accumulated from that stupid chunk of wood. My left eye’s vision begins to blur and it becomes painful to keep it open. I jump in the crawl space to continue the job, and I come out wet and dirty. I try to get the needed parts, but of course I don’t have what I need. HOLY CRAP, This is never going to work.
“I need to work faster.” “I need to man up and work harder.”
It beginning to get dark and I am trying to cut holes with my cordless drill and the batteries continue to die before I can finish a hole. As all the other workers from various companies are packing up and leaving, I am trying to install gas piping with one hand over my eye and the other hand trying to tighten the pipes. My nose starts to run in copious amounts and I remember that my sinuses are connected so my nose is just joining the party my eye is putting on.
I am breathing harder and trying to walk faster and move faster but it just means I have more mistakes.
“Work harder.” “Do better.”
“Be better. You can do this you just have to do better.”
I begin to start freaking out as I walk into the house and stop for a moment realizing my complete inadequacy and my mind goes to my Creator and Sustainer.
“I can’t do anything without you sustaining me and empowering me can I?”
“You are the one that keeps me going and only by your power can I do anything.”
I had quite an epiphany at this moment. I was sweating, breathing hard, in a fair amount of discomfort and pain and I realized that I am worthless and useless outside of God’s sustaining of me. The only reason I am still breathing is because God is making it so. The only reason I can work at all is because God gives me the power. The only reason I can think about how miserable all of this is, is because God made it so. God is powerful. I am not. God enables. I need to be enabled.
I stood there with a pipe wrench in my hand and breathed. In and out. In and out. With every breath I remember that God is the one holding up my existence and ability and I aside from Him I can do nothing.
I stood there for a moment. I realized my weakness and inability and the fact that the job would not get done. I realized that God empowers me and I was pumped to remember that fact. I worked as long as I could, packed up and drove my truck towards the setting sun. Incomplete in task, more complete in my understanding of reality.
For the Curious, my eye was pretty jacked up the rest of the evening. I was functionally blind. I tried to hang out with a buddy, but basically sat in the dark, ate food and left. I went home and to Bed at 8:49 and God sustained my body and my eye was healed the next morning. Praise God.
I was listening to the sound of the teacher teaching at re:Generation and also the sound of Sigur Ros and Christopher Parkening. Wonderful writing material.
Here is my first well organized thoughts put on paper to turn into a teacher who will grade it for seminary. I actually enjoy this stuff, so maybe some of you will find a little enjoyment in it or maybe you can learn at little bit.
I believe that God has graciously revealed himself to man through general revelation and special revelation, the clearest form of which is the Bible.
General Revelation
I believe God has revealed for all people, at all times and all places aspects of himself in general revelation. His attributes of glory (Ps 19:1), creativity (Ps 19:1), power (Job 38:34-38), divine nature (Rom 1:20) goodness (Acts 14:17), wrath (Rom 1:18), and righteousness (Rom 1:18) can be seen in all of creation. This revelation is seen through out the whole world (Ps 19:3-4). God has revealed himself in man’s conscience as well, revealing Him as a judge and an establisher of morality (Romans 2:14-15).
The purpose of this revelation is that man would come into a relationship with Him, but people reject God as he is revealed in creation and humanity, despite the fact they know Him (Rom 1:21). Because of this rejection, the result of general revelation is condemnation. Because Jesus is not revealed in general revelation it is not sufficient for salvation (Acts 4:12).
Special Revelation
I believe that God personally reveals himself to many people by his redemptive work and words. God has revealed himself through works like mighty acts (Deut 7:18-19) and miracles (2 Cor 12:12) and most clearly through Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection (John 19-20). His revealed words included direct speech (Gen 3:8-19), dreams (Matt 1:20), visions (Rev 4:1), prophecy (1 Cor 14:24-25) and most fully his book, the Bible (2 Tim. 3:15-17, Heb 1:1). The purpose of special revelation is that many may come into relationship with God. Special revelation reveals God as reconciler and reveals the Messiah (Heb 1:2-4).
Bible
I believe the Bible is the Word of God. I believe God inspired the writing of his book. The inspiration of scripture is verbal, it is of the words (1 Cor 2:12-13), and plenary, it includes every word (Gal 3:16, Matt 5:17-18). In bringing the word of God into book form, he used human authors to pen the various books of Scripture, he directed their lives, experiences, personalities, and styles to make authors through which he would write his book (2 Pet. 1:20-21, Gal 1:11-12).
Because the Bible is God’s word it is inerrant, meaning that the Bible is wholly true in all that it affirms, in the mode of language it chooses to use. They are God’s words and God is not a liar (Num 23:19, Jn 17:17).
The Bible includes the 66 books of the Old and New Testament and is sufficient for our understanding of faith and practice (Rom 15:4, 1 Cor 10:11). I believe the Holy Ghost convicts us (Rom. 16:8), brings about salvation (Jas 1:21), and teaches us (John 14:25-26) through the Scriptures, illuminating them in order that our sin-stained minds (1 Cor 2:14-16) may understand. We must study the scriptures well, paying careful attention to the grammatical and historical components of the text.
Because the Bible is God’s word it has the authority of God’s word (Matt 28:18). This makes it not the only authority, but the highest authority to which all other authorities, including other special revelation, must be held under.
For the Curious, I was listening to Sigur Ros, a wonderful band from Iceland that happens to make the best studying/reading/writing/homework music ever. Also, I listened to Jonsi, which was a side project of their’s.
When I first saw Western Seminary I was not impressed. It occupies an entire block and is composed of 7 buildings. I came from Corban College and was used to a bigger campus with lots of buildings, dorms, gyms, and classrooms, but this was different.
As I took the tour of the “extensive” camp I began to think about what was done on this block and what actually happened at this school. As I began to realize that Seminary was not about sports or dorm life or performing arts or a multitude of degrees, my perspective of the campus began to change. Slowly I began to see, not a dinky campus with a lack of activities, but a fortress of a school of thought.
This campus sits on the base of a hill overlooking Hawthrone Blvd, like a fortress willing to fight the enemies that would try to conquer it’s ideas for their own. When the school first started it had a book that it sought to teach faithfully, never straying from its truth, but striving to continue to teach it to the ever changing culture around them. It has stood for a long time. The buildings are old and you can clearly see the signs of the past decades that permeate its architecture, but the book taught in those rooms remains the same. Those professor warriors still stand up and wield that sword and teach others to wield it correctly. The fortress still stands, because the book is the thing being defended.
May Western Seminary stand as a Fortress of that school of thought, of that book, until the Hero of it returns as the warrior king.
For the Curious, I was listening to the bustle of the local Taco del Mar, and eventually the redone “I’ve got the Joy, Joy, Joy” by Page CXVI. Check Out the Song Joy by them. It is good.
Eerie tones filled his ears. The headphones played tunes of dissonance and sustain. The bass notes were prominent and the highs were chilling. The mating of guitar, synth, and chllo made for the perfect soundtrack as he stepped onto the ferry, stepping from land to water, from solid to fluid, from visit to return.
The ferry was large and often boarded, smelling of use and neglect. Many flooded on as the first seats became occupied, but the man continued towards the front of the vessel, to the open bow of the boat, the opening that looked out across the dark, threatening plane, that whispered untold tales and threat of loss.
A couple lay on each other while resting on a wooden bench as the man passes them to the deck in the cold night. They can see his black jacket zipped up tightly around his neck with the white accent of the headphones that reached from his pocket to his ears, filling his mind with music that clearly pushed him into deeper thought and contemplation.
He had reached the railing that kept him from the steep fall into the water, just as the ferry began its slow crawl through the water. The engine groaned and heaved as it pushed the massive load of souls across the sound to an untold number of destinations, homes, futures, existences, and lives.
He grabbed the rail with both hands, peering into the dark distance, slightly lit by the various houses, as the vessel accelerated, pushing the wind past his ears. The soundtrack for his journey pauses and he puts the headphones away and peers ever deeper into the night, looking for his destination, looking for his future.
The carriage quickens and the wind beats on the man’s face, but he stands determined. “I will stand here bold, despite the wind and cold.” He sees it as a way to fight against the elements for an answer. “Give me what I want, I will not sit.”
The craft quickens its pace and the wind beats against his ears and bites his face. “This is nothing, I will stand here and beat the wind back for the entirety of the trip. I will look brave and bold. I will have an existential realization and know where to walk from now on.”
The wind knocked against him, cutting into his chest despite his jacket and his resolve weakened. He slowly realized his own folly, knowing that the winds and the cold have no answers, but only answer to the one who moves them. He walked away from the front of the watercraft and sat down against a small wall still letting the brisk air float around him. He pulled a book of philosophy and thought out of his jacket and began to read while the cello and Spanish guitar resume their serenade to his ears.
He pours over the book, finding excitement in the truth and clarity found in it’s pages. It spoke of how to apply truth and show it to those who must hear it. He was empowered and emboldened as the evening lights of the opposing shore came into view. He puts the book back into his pocket and resumes his stance at the front of the ship, not with the same brashness to beat the elements and prove his dominance, but to stand bold before an unknown future, knowing the maker of truth, and a remembrance that he steers the ship of his future and knows the dark waters of time far better than the small man who stands in the cold looking into them.
The ferry hit the shore and a tall man in black, with accents of white, walks through the crowd as they riders pour out of the ferry. They watch his back as his long stride quickly takes him to the empty streets of the seemingly deserted city. If they could read his eyes they would see a manifesto of battle for his own dark, barely lit city. They would see his desire for the inhabitants who have no truth. They would feel a passion that would stand against a hoard for the name of one. They would see a love for the giver of truth and the maker of the cold waters on which he had just completed a voyage.
For the Curious, I was listening to Mumford and Sons. I hear so many Jesus Lines through their lyrics and it is quite invigorating. There music really gets me going.
The more I live life, and pay attention, the more I recognize the various avenues of grace in all of life and how prevalent it is from the smallest to the largest situations.
This little story gave me a little remainder of how God pursues us to give us grace even when we are not doing anything.
For a while I have been wanting a new job that is a better learning environment and fits around my schedule better. So early one morning (7 am) I decided to call a specific company that I have heard great things about and knew they had openings.
(abridged anonymous version)
“Hello, this is Chris”,
“Hi, My name is Aeric and I heard you had openings and I was wondering if I could come in and get an application.”
“Yeah, we do. You should definitely come in and get one. It would be well worth your time.” At this point I was thinking to myself, “I don’t even know this guy and he is treating me like a friend who will hook me up with a job, Weird.”
“Alright, well how late are you guys open?”
“Until 4. You should really come by and get an application.”
“Well I probably wont get off that early but I have a day off next week. I could do it then.”
“You should come today. It would be well worth it.”
“Alright, I will if I get off in time.”
Well, I did not get off in time. In fact, I got off at 9:30 pm. Which is a little crazy and I was angry, but we don’t have time.
But during the day, I was being pursued by the manager. I was called and asked to get an application, then it was as simple as just bring in a resume, then it was just email the resume, then it was just send it to my personal email. Needless to say, I emailed a resume in as soon as possible. The day I actually had off I went in anyway and filled out an application and I had an interview right there (more pursuing). Through out all of the situation, I realized that often God pursues us for grace, specifically in salvation, even when we are not trying at all. I was not making a huge effort to get there (mainly because I couldn’t, I did not have the means to do it) and so the higher ups did all the work and made it happen.
This is a small (and possibly irrelevant) story, but it helped me remember that God pursued me I did not pursue him and that makes all of the difference.
For the Curious, I am listening to Afro Celt Sound System and I don’t have that job… yet.
This weekend I found myself sitting on a quaint little sand dune, with a perfect backrest of beach grass, overlooking the Nehamlem Bay into the vastness that is the ocean. It was a wonderful time of silence and solitude, looking back over the past year here in Portland (1 year anniversary, I am planning many more), looking forward to the next year, setting some goals and above all thanking God for the grace that is evident in all that is going on. I enjoyed a local bought cigar, wrote in my moleskine and marveled at the mildness of the weather as the light breeze encouraged my look unto the coast, pushing my eyes to see far into the horizon.
The coast has always brought two ideas into my mind. One is that I am single and I really want a wife, the coast stirs up those feelings in me and I think it is a great place to be a couple, but I don’t know yet, and that is not what I am writing about. The Second is that I am very small. I would hope this is a thought that crosses many minds when they arrive at the coast, but alas I feel it is not very prevalent.
If you stand on the coast with your feet close to the water (especially at night) you can be struck with the fact that you are very small and insignificant and it would take very little to have you swallowed up by the massive expanse that you stand before. You cannot see the end of the ocean and only because we stand on the finished end of thousands of years of exploration do we know that it does not last forever. IT IS HUGE! And if you allow yourself to realize that your next logical step is to realize that you are very, very small.
I think it is so easy to live in the city and be surrounded by other small beings bustling around and not remember that we are indeed very small. We think of ourselves so highly, we think we are big, but we are small, we think our accomplishments are big, but they are tiny. We think more people should listen to our ideas or bow to us, but we are unimportant. That is why the activity of putting yourself in big places is such a great one. Stand in front of the ocean and think about it’s bigness your next thought must be your smallness. Stand on top of a mountain, looking out onto the huge expanses of land around you and realize, you are small. Stand in a huge field in the middle of the night during a huge thunderstorm and when the lightening cracks the sky and lights up the world you will feel utterly exposed and very insignificant (Trust me, it was a crazy experience, I recommend it).
When we can look at the wonderful grandness that God has created in this world we can then realize at least a little more that God is a very big God (to use simple terms) and we are very small. We do not need to place so much significance in us, but more in the bigger, the one who made the vastness, the expanses, and all that makes us feel small.
So take a trip to the coast, take your shoes off, walk down to the beach in the night and stand just at the boundary between the water and the land, on a clear night, and push your eyes to look as far as they can and then realize it goes farther. Take a breath and try to understand the massiveness you stand in front of. Realize the water could swallow all of the land you live on and it would never be found, realize that you are very small, but then realize the maker of the bigness sees your smallness and loves you.
Incredible.
For the curious, I was listening to the Afro Celt Sound System and I like the coast a lot, even if it requires a hoodie.
ericstartswitha